Submitting in Marriage (part 2)

So, the last time I talked about submitting, I figured I would get some people who weren’t really into it. I know that a year ago, if someone had talked to me about submitting (especially to my fiancé) that I would have gasped in disdain.


Which is really a sad reflection, I think, on our society- isn’t it? We balk at the idea of submitting to our spouse, when we take no notice of all the other people (and their rules) we have to acknowledge and abide by. Who else should I rather submit to than the man who loves me in spite of my short temper, displeasure at housekeeping, perpetual lateness, and frequent cooking experiments with natural foods?

God loves me despite my many shortcomings. I am lucky that my fiancé’s love comes close to this. I am not perfect by any means, and am certainly no easy task to bear living with. Looking back, I am amazed by the years I spent kicking and screaming, fighting the idea of submission.

Now, for those of you who I can hear groaning in the background, I have a message:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husband as the Lord. … Husbands, love your wives…” Eph 5:21- 5:25

Many people do not note this verse, focusing on Colossians 3:18. Both verses clearly state that a wife is meant to submit to her husband, and a husband meant to love his wife.

But the verse in Ephesians has a prelude from the verse before it, ending with “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Eph 5:21) This relationship should be mutual, a giving in to put your spouse’s desires first.

“Love is patient, love is kind. … it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.” 1Co 13:4- 13:5

Love does not desire it’s own selfish whims. Love doesn’t hold grudges. This is the ideal I will be striving for, and remembering to be willing to submit makes the difference.

Submission doesn’t mean laying down “like a doormat.” Submission is, instead, a conscious effort to stand up. Stand up, against common societal misconceptions. Stand up, against the mythologies of feminism. Stand up, with the Word and Truth, Stand up, with the message that the Lord has given to us. Submission in marriage is true liberation.