Wednesday, August 18, 2010

On Marriage and (gasp!) Submitting

Well, another 2 weeks have gone by... and we have another post on submitting in marriage. I wrote this a week or so ago, but as I stated last, I have some things to catch up on still, so kept postponing... However, school starts next week and by that time I need to be fixed up around here so normal posting should return soon! As I said in my last post, I want to focus here on marriage- and I have talked before on how I feel submitting can achieve a more successful relationship. I recently saw, while doing a Google search of Christian homemaking blogs, a listing which purports to be an "alternative" to the "regular" homemaking blogs who are written by Christian women who are conservative and submissive (cue disparaging tone.) Uh oh.
Personally, I thank her, I believe this only accentuates what I am trying to show here. I think many of us "conservative" ladies try to show how deriding us as weak is ridiculous. I believe that submission (in the biblical way) makes marriages stronger.
I have both submitted and not in the past five years with Mr. Shelley, and when I don't does it make our relationship better? Am I more "empowered" and happier? No! I feel worse, and can always see that my pride causes me to be irritable with hime for the least thing, or no thing at all. Then, I speak in a snippy tone (as my Mom always called it, basically it means I sound like a whiny kid!) We often end uf arguing because of this, and as much as in the moment I like to blame him... he didn't appreciate me, didn't help me with the kids, etc the fact is if I hadn't been thinking of myself I would have reacted differently.
Is this the example of a working relationship? Maybe- if you take your example of a good marriage from the sitcom shows where the husband and wife trade jibes back and forth and constantly bust each other up verbally. An example of marriage- sadly, yes. But successful, positive marriage? I don't think so.

I am happy to share this at Works For Me Wednesday.

1 comment:

Mom2fur said...

It really comes down to kindness and respect. There's a reason I'm still romantically in love with my husband after almost 30 years of marriage--we're nice to each other. I cringe at the word 'submit' because it sounds a little scary. I know it isn't meant to be in the context you're using, but it can be carried way too far. But I do defer to my husband where he's got the smarter ideas, just as he lets me do what I do best. For instance, while I pay the monthly bills, he figures out all the big financial stuff. I just don't have the head for that sort of thing. But he has the respect for me not to jump into anything without discussing it with me first.
I bet your husband 'submits' (still hate that word) to you at times, too! As long as it is done with love and respect, and neither partner is domineering, a marriage will work. It's when it is done by force or with abuse that trouble starts, IMHO.


Blog Widget by LinkWithin