Friday, March 19, 2010

on submission, and best things

a loaded word, if ever I heard one. Before I began walking the path of my new faith, and certainly back in my younger feminist-esque days, the word would have sent shivers down my spine. Now I find it does much the same, but in a very different way. The first time I read about what submission means was at My Charming Kids, and if you haven't read the post I highly suggest it.

If I can be completely honest, life for Mr.Shelley and I has been difficult more than not for most of the past few years. How often I blamed him, I am ashamed to admit. He has been nothing short of amazing, while my own immaturity often surfaced to cause problems in our relationship. Some of you might know that while we are not yet married, our committment to each other is strong, yet often tested. My situation is different than many of you out there, but I would say that not being married yet in fact makes it harder in some ways. This post is also a admittance of our relationship for those who don't know, and proves my statement- I snuck around the truth because it is something so many people do not approve of.
on submission, though, I do not believe that it is reserved solely for those couples who are married, but for all true commitments. On a radio show recently, I heard a wonderful definition of submission in marriage (or almost marriage! for me) that submission is yielding, in love. Our husbands, or fianc├ęs, need to be respected, and submission allows us to give this respect to them. As the show said, it shows us to be confident women, and through this we can build up those men we have committed our lives to.
For me, in my own experience, submitting has proved to be a way for me to express my respect for Mr. Shelley. I realized only recently how important respect is to him. As much as I wanted appreciation from him, he needed to know that I respect him. And since I do (he is easy to respect for all he does for us) but had difficulty showing him, this was the path for us. It is not always easy to hold my tongue, and shift my selfish focus onto him. But I have seen the change it has made in our relationship. And I know that as long as I continue, our relationship will grow closer. So do not look at the word submission with a biased eye, but inspect it deeper to see how it might better your commmitment. 
And remember, that in the passage husbands are also asked to submit to their wives, to honor them and love them as Christ does the church. For more information on submission in marriage, see the following:
Christianity Today

I am happy to share this at Finer Things Friday.


Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

this is a hard subject to tackle. You are so right...submitting to my husband to me means recognizing him as the gift of God that he is and treating him as such! When I keep that first and foremost in my mind, submitting becomes so much easier!

Amy @ Finer Things said...

Respect is dire in a relationship.


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